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DO - say how sorry you are, by letter or phone or as soon as you next
see them.
DO - attend the funeral if you knew the person who has died.
DO - let the bereaved person talk about their loss and express grief,
as much or as often as they want. Going over and over what happened
is a normal part of bereavement.
DO - be patient and understanding, and encourage them to be patient
and understanding with themselves.
DO - encourage them to take care of themselves – to eat and rest
properly, and to see their doctor if they are worried about their health.
* * * * * * * * * * *
DON’T - change the subject when bereaved people talk about their
loss.
DON’T – say “I know how you feel”. Even if you
have experienced a similar loss. Others will not feel exactly as you
felt.
DON’T - try to soothe away the pain by saying “it was a
merciful release”, “Time heals” or “Try to think
about something else”. However well meant, such remarks seldom
help when grief is at its most intense.
DON’T – give advice unless it is asked for.
DON’T – make offers of help you cannot keep.
DON’T – assume that bereaved people should have got over
the loss by a certain time. Grieving nearly always takes longer than
we think. |
